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~.~
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Mar. 20th, 2006 @ 09:36 pm
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Hm..as much as i've tried to maintain this, but i gotto admit, it's out of obligation.
Confirmed saya sudah jatuh cinta dengan xanaga saya!
hehehe
so..the years have been great!!
But i love my xanaga
and one day, perhaps i will return here, as i always do!
Opeliko 2001-2006 :P
p/s eh sorry la dear, hehe u can't comment on my xanaga unless using chatterbox :PCurrent Mood:  weird |
I hate ppl snapping at me
here i am talking abt JT
=.=Current Mood:  curious |
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OH my lord, just like wrote a bunch of stuff here, abt how i'm gonna get personal and stuff in my blog, as was my intentions back in 2001, but i just can't do it anymore! It's like bare-ing my soul. Yes, some of u new readers might think that i am personal. Fact is, that's the personal i let get out...there's so much more....
I admit, i do miss JT at times. Being me, a person who clings on to the past. IN fact, that day he just gave me hugs n kisses and told me he missed me. And i thought.....it would be so easy to give in, to the norm, to our plans.....but then i read my old entries both in LJ n Xanga and it reminded me of every fault i found in him and our rship. And i remembered! Everything i wasn't happy abt...no way i'm gonna go thru that again.
Yes really, i've become fussier.
Also, Pey was telling me she misses me, she really does..hehe soooo sweet ;) lol altho quite lesbianic :P i told her i missed her too. And i do of course!! Who else to be bimbos with and talk abt clothes..keke.....but really, can't be selfish and pray that she doesn't find a job there just so she can be back, now can i?
hehe
i won't la
tata Current Mood: indescribable |
U know in the LJ communities i joined, some ppl show their buys and even put the pics of their undergarments. So i thought, how abt me...would i do such a thing? Actually leh, i don't mind i guess. I mean, i love to show n talk abt my buys, undergarments are just one of them. However, there's a conservative part of me, where it tells me i shld act proper and that showing the public wat i bought (undergarments) isn't proper lor. PLus, i would be worried also lar, if i offend others. lol. Or maybe wat they think of me.
So i guess my answer would be more towards no. BUt i'll show my girlfriends i suppose...or bf! hehe... talking abt it however, it's another thing, which i find perfectly acceptable. So yeah, today i went to 1 U and my mom wanted to buy a strapless bra, i have been needing more bras lately, so i decided to buy also. After searching hi n low and trying on various, i finally found the perfect one! Color actually quite off lar, but the fit is perfect and i was too lazy to try anymore..hehe...so i bought yellow color, trimmed with laces bra! nice nice! The straps have ribbons...hehe..happyyyy
Last nite i was feeling so freaking terrible. Sore throat, headache, feeling hot n cold etc...i was kinda worried i had gotten bird flu u know. Went to bed early, around 11 something. Couldn't sleep til 3 am! So finally went down to makan medicine for fever...then smsed 2 ppl, one with whom i had an appointment today, told him (N) cannot lar..i felt shitty. THe other, i wanted comforting from, hoping he wld reply or call but he didn't. =/ so well....kinda waited for 30 mins..then fell asleep....disappointed a bit. heh heh. Anwyayz, i woke up abt 5 hrs later and felt fine! Also i perspiring, so prob that helped. Seriously, like something magical happened. Got up, went online (after trying to continue sleep), then called my friend and told him i could make it for lunch after all. Went back to bed for like less than 5 mins then received a phone call from C. Talked for abt an hr or so...hehe felt a bit better la....a bit oni la :P
Went out for lunch in Hartamas! This Jap place! Quite chun lor hehe.(made me realise maybe i do like eating Jap style) ..liked the atmosphere....then thought of Cats Whiskers and yes i went there too. Eyed this top, original price RM 29, after 70 per cent, it's RM 9 only!!!! But din buy lor..coz it wasn't like i super liked it...but aih...now thinking of it, i mean, it's only RM 9 and it's kinda scary how i act as if i damn rich, not to say boast. Wat i mean is, the way i spend money lar..scary shit man! Anwayz, the top is pink and has slight lace, very simple, no patterns, spaggethi top. Hm..maybe tmr will go to Damansara Perdana punya cawangan.
I realise rite, i tend to mix malay when i speak. lol.
It's just so fun to simply pick clothings in cats whiskers because most of the items are nice, looks decent on me (teehee) and everything there is on discount! Plus i prefer shopping in places where they hang most of their clothing as opposed to folded clothigns. It's like, after CW, there's no other place for me to shop in d. Also i like shops where thye have many brands lar...randomness, fate n variety, as always! ;D
Soooo after that went shopping with mom n sis in 1 U. Then came home. Shortly again went out for badminton...amboi, luckily i was late la. Kept chgning the venue man. LOL. HOwever, it was fun, i brought me sis along. Played with Joo, King, Doug, Kevin n Yu jin. Eh Wait, Joo din play, he came by later. So after that went to yam char. And boy, JOo n King really talk a lot of crap/jokes..heheheh...funny lamers! As always, talking with them cracks me up lar. NOw i have like semi sorethroat d. Ish...oh yeah, wanted to ffk them for badminton (started to feel ill again), but felt bad coz i'm the one who kept asking if there was a game today...hehehe...it's like i'm the one who initiated it. After yam char, dunno where they go lor...toobad can't join em :P got sis with me
Yu Jin said my sis n i look kinda alike, the eyes lar..yes, he said PANDA eyes...i guess it's just genes. There were funny things we all talked abt. ONe of them being Brokeback Mountain, Star wars...etc..
And Joo kept making fun abt me being interested in the guys...saying "he's single" in which i always retort, "ALL of us are single here"
Showed Yu JIn nJoo my funky new specs also..kekekekke
Sigh, so weird lar my lovelife...can't elaborate now can i..with so many eyes...reading......
but i'm glad that i have my social life back!
and yes, in regard to my title..freaking a lot of sweet talkers around me man...lol........ hahaha all i can say is, they amuse me, lots *winks*
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Quotes quotes quotes! i like
edited
why am i feeling this way? sighCurrent Mood:  geeky |
| » Were u lying all the time? |
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If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you
But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Linger by The Cranberries
It's been a long hiatus rite..sorry..just no time, no mood.
I need to clarify something to my devoted fans :P
aka Kev tan hahah
kidding
anwyayz, fact is, Jt never ever cheated on me k
i keep rumbling on n on abt cheating n other related stuff
because of something else.
As far as i know, none of my bfs ever cheated on me b4
Thank God...
Going thru something now. So similar to 2003. Read back my archive back then and realised that i'm repeating similar words
sigh
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you
And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Mar. 5th, 2006 @ 09:12 pm
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| » Don't ask me any questions and i won't lie |
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Just now i watched Pink Panther with Kev, EN, Ad n Zhong and boy Zhong n Ad laughed damn loud man. I was actually quite shy coz i thought maybe others (behind us or wherever) wld be like wondering why they laughed so loud and hard til they even shook in the chairs...hahahah...
The movie is short and i feel quite poor now that i've watched 2 movies in a row which i wouldn't actually choose to watch if ppl din ask me :P PP was okla..i liked to watch the cartoon when i was young. So thought i gave it a shot. Din find it super funny (the way the guys found it). I mean, scenes where Steve Martin did stupid things or got into accident do not amuse me anymore..Zhong said no fun sitting next to me coz i dun laugh...hhhahha
On with other things..was out with Deo today in Sg wang. Him, among many others expressed that he missed high school...sighz...so do i so do i...and so many others. Someone even said, he'd give up something (i forgot wat and who) just to go back. THink the fella said his life...well nowadays feeling quite nostalgic. Had been ahnging out with Doug, Joo, Pey they all...all from my high school.....then met Clem, now Alex..just now Kev that bunch...oh geez.......maybe i would give up SO much just to go back also. Sigh, sometimes the thought really gets me down, and the memories from the past, knowing that i had all this beliefs and wants for myself but i wasn't strong enough to achieve them. Such innocence we had then. I think i will always love Kev from the past....wat we had......throwing things around class, walking to ss2 after library duty, all those badan beruniform gatherings..... =/ sigh and i'll always have that yearning to return to wat i used to be (on the inside) haha tho i prefer my looks after high school! :P
Also thought abt my lovelife. Broken up for quite sometime...and well.....realised that i want more. I mean i knew earlier. But sometimes i feel that i'm young, so it's ok to be so careless n carefree abt my lovelife. i can handle the pain..ntg much....i know i'll be sad, then life will go on. See, at a point of time i had become a realist til now.....and now i'm returning to wat i was b4. A dreamer....i want back all the things i wanted. Slowly returning to my path back home. Hehe i used to daydream, ages ago abt love song playing then the guy n i stare at each other (tension moment) blablabla..just likes movies....haih so sweet. That person seems like another girl, not me yet it was me long time ago. I want all that back! tension, passion....lots of love, romance...sweet gestures n words, make ppl (me) blush n shy. hehe! Am i silly to be a dreamer again as opposed to being a realist?
So in relation to that, thought abt Jt, who isn't a dreamer. Who rather two ppl are suitable (accomodating to each other) rather than having the ultimate love. Really Jt isn't my type at all. Now thinking lots of times whether i actually want him or a rship with him again.
Think it's time to raise my standards again.
Other things, ppl have been telling me 'secrets' and asking me to keep them secret. Some are abt their personal life, some are abt other ppl's personal life and some are just general things (everybody's life)........i hate to make promises saying i'll keep becauase knowing me, i always have the intention to keep mum but i scared i forget lar..say given a few mths or years. I just made one reluctant promise coz the guy made me. Another guy told me not to tell something that is well known to the general public and i already heard from others anyway.......so am i suppose not to talk abt it? When i even talked abt it befor he ever told me anything abt that issue------>abt guys n their itchy ways.
Haih. And some of the secrets are just downrite.....'unsecrety' if u know wat i mean. Like for eg. A tells me B likes to flirt with every girl even tho he has a gf. Is that like a big secret when he does it in front of everyone? weird rite...but then again, i gotto respect their ideas of 'secrets'. And also, funny thing is, they usually tell me the 'secret' then ask me to not tell anyone. Sometimes i dun even wanna know coz i dun want the commitment of keeping it a secret damn it.....
Last time i remember that one of my close friend told me a secret which is to the negative side. I honestly didn't wannt know it coz for me, it was...not a nice thing to know at all.
Yet another topic--->don't u just hate it when u can't blame ppl for making ur life miserable because they didn't intentionally do it?
Feb. 24th, 2006 @ 12:50 am
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| » I am excited ! *hoot* |
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I feel like i lost an asset when i had my hair cut short.
I mean, short hair isn't all that bad. But when i don't style it, i think i look downrite plain. As opposed to long hair...whether i style it or not, i think it makes me look good enough.
Sigh....
Well wat to do! Already cut my hair, so i'll leave with it...
btw, i love this song!
Blind by Lifehouse
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you'll ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
I haven't been thinking much but have been going out pretty much everyday.
Yesterday one of my outing was swimming. Went to Riana Green where George lives. Upon arrival, there were already thunders...so i was getting paranoid. Kept asking George n EG whether it's safe to swim. We went ahead anyway. Nice pool!!! Anywayz, after a while, starting raining...and i was afraid that the lightning would strike and kena us. After a while, i got out of the pool when the rain was heavier. The two boys, gila punya, stayed in and played betw themselves. They tried assuring me that ntg wld happen...but ever since the last car accident, i'm not abt to take risks. They played there for a loooooooong time....gosh.....and tried (and half succeeded) in dragging me into the pool. But once i got in, lightning striked so i quickly jump out again. After that, we ran under the rain back to George's block ! Gosh even with the towel on top of my head, the rain still splattered quite hard on my face and boy was i tired after running back all the way. NOt to mention i was damn afraid that the lightning will strike while i run...as in strike me la. The mom chided George and us...i'm kinda afraid that we left bad impression..somemore uknow lar, i'm a girl and join two guys like that. But hey, they're my good friends and i feel perfectly comfortable with them! Still...outsiders POV might be diff. Told them d that shld get out and don't swim when it's raining. The grandma n mom were like "Raining and still wanna swim.."
Anyway George is damn playful n childish gosh! Whenever i swam, kinda afraid to swim near him because he splashed water at me like non stop and unmercifully !!! Very silly guy indeed. OH INDEED ! EG on the other hand, wasn't that playful. After that we went to the sauna and yucks i don't like it at all. Because the toilet n tiles not nice la. And I take biasa with sauna langsung....can't breathe in there. EG too. George on the other hand loved it.
George says i don't have much of hips...well he's the first la. Last time everyone else said i have big ass..didn't like it one bit...anwyayz slimmed down thru out the years and i guess i lost it. Sadly, that's not the only part of my bod i lost fats =/
Feb. 22nd, 2006 @ 03:19 pm
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| » Kinda Boring la |
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I shld remind myself constantly that not everybody thinks like me.
The human mind is so complex......it's hard to fully comprehend and i would say impossible!
i've read that some insane murderer's brain have been used for study..interesting eh?
Anywayz, was talking to a friend recently abt another friend...and wat he said abt that friend kinda baffled me. I mean, i din really understand wat he was talking abt pluz i was kinda puzzled how his mind can even think that way.
Thus, i realise that it's hard to predict ppl's reaction to any situation. If everyone knew how i made decisions, i think they'll think i'm crazy. Maybe i am..keke
Anwyayz yesterday watched this movie abt a woman who murdered her husband. Her mother was crazy, so kinda passed down to her. She was excessively paranoid. I wonder if i'm excessively paranoid. The movie showed how the two fell in love....and well......kinda sad how everythinig seem so perfect at the start, how much they were in love and then it ended up like that. Getting angry, fighting over money, property and children...it's reality man. As the world prgresses, things get more complicating, ppl face more stress--->become more crazy--->need more psychitrist (how to spell??) hehe...so maybe i should be a shrink..haha. The movie reminded me of Jas n i. Anwyayz, the woman didn't seem that crazy lar. Or maybe i just don find it crazy. Normal jealousy, anger...normal stuff..except for the part where she got angry over her flowers..ok maybe other parts also..but i wouldn't say excessively gila.
Was talking abt my dead grandma just now. And i remembered i dreamt something abt her..but couldn't recall......i knew she wasn't happy bout something. But back then, i just pushed it out of my head. Sigh, wish i cld remember now.
Well that's abt it..ciao ppl..
Feb. 20th, 2006 @ 08:31 pm
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| » up one notch |
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Hi LJ, miss u loads. I realised lots of features of LJ has chged. ONe is the main LJ page www.livejournal.com where point no 5 was to be yourself. How to be myself here? And create a controversy? Look, i wanna complain abt someone and i can't even. THe person might be reading or someone related to that person, yet i want other none related ppl to know.....but they can't read unless i put under friends mode yet i dunno many ppl who uses LJ. So..i can't exactly let out my frustrations.
Just now played mahjong. damn it, knew that i shouldn't have lar. Everyone there more pro than me. I'm used to playing with George n EG who waits for me and gives me chances and well, are amused by my antics. Ugh...really just now that round makes me dowan to play anymore...or rahter with them, or perhaps it's just that i can only play with George coz he taught me. So, sudah biasa lar. I was kinda annoyed lar, i mean hello, i just started.....someone there seemed kinda impatient.....i know lar i damn not pro (interuption, jason just msg me! happy!!). WAS ANNOYED !! grrrr.....
anywyz, can't type lar...can't update when ppl are chatting with me
i think i look like a 17 year old boy now with short hair
Feb. 19th, 2006 @ 02:35 am
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| » tops, bottoms, undies and wat more? heee |
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Today i so happened to see PY in 1 U...ahha so ngam, if ur reading this, i might go to ur place to use the treadmill real soon ;)
anywayz, i bought 1 pink skirt today, miny and can be used as tube top as well. Other than the pair of green shoes, i really can't think of anything else i wanna get. I thought of getting Levis but didn't really like the cut hehe good and bad in a sense. Was really looking fwd to getting a pair of jeans from there. Good because more money to shop!! YAY!! what to buy wat to buy?
THink i'll go back to Cats whiskers kakakkakak..gives me pleasure to simply pick out clothes to wear kaka...i nearly bought this pink spagetthi top but well, i have waaaaay too many tops.
****I can say watever i want abt JT in blogs coz he doesn't have my blog adds in his pc in Sabah and i bet he doesn't remember anywayz!
Still having 2nd tots having piercing my nose. Sounds painful, i'm scared i'll be disfigured. heheh when i pierced my belly, it hurt and i was like "Owwwhh" but at least i can see one end of the ring. With nose, i can't see the other end. Wat if blood leaks into my nose? What if i wanna blow my nose? wat if i wanna DIG my nose? haha
Moto this year is "just do it" yet being a cautious person, i just can't do it. See,i have to think until so long just to pierce my nose. blah
Wat if i decided i didn't like it and there's a permanent scar on my nose? Howwwwww
But it's so tempting
i think i won't do it la. I'm scared.
How i wish whole of cats whiskers was my closet *dreams* They arrange the clothes by the colors. how nice
dunno wat else to write.
Feb. 12th, 2006 @ 11:19 pm
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| » Broken up and broken hearted |
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I'm so brokenhearted.
Yesterday i told him that i would try to change
and stopped naggin him or watever it is...
he didn't even reply...
Before that, he already sounded 'farn' talking to me
To my ears la at least...
So fine, i distantly remembering sending him an sms
"Y sound so distant? Sigh..wish i knew wat u were feeling
or thinking...u have fun too.."
and no reply....
Hello, doesn't that sound like i needed an answer?
So maybe i tot he was angry but he said no...
So i decided to leave him alone.
And off i went to play mahjong with my friends
B4 playing, i told George what happened
and i was seriously on the verge of crying
had to stop talking and take deep breaths
and he was like patting me and trying to calm me down
Playing mahjong and the lovely necklace Eu-Gene bought for me
made me occupied for a while..
However, towards the ending, i felt the ache again
I reached home, cried in bed
Smsed him "no call or sms goodnite? U have no idea how much u hurt me.."
It was 5 am
I thought he was asleep because he's an early sleeper
To my surprise, he replied
exactly "I haven't sleep, going to sleep now, nitez"
I know something's wrong because
1. earlier that day
2. no 'dear' as he usually calls me
3. He never says goodnite like that
bloody fucker
so i cry somemore then got angry
and said something along the lines of
"WTF is wrong with you?! Hurry settle now!"
Then he smsed me "Nothing wrong, nothing to settle, sleeping now bb"
I would think that when ur gf thinks something is wrong
u would comfort her to think otherwise but he din
Doesn't he sound like he's talking to a
hi-bye friend?
Distant n detached?
So i smsed him "If u don't tell me then i never know. What did i do wrong?
What are u doing now? Since when sleep so late?"
He replied exactly "Nothing wrong, im watching tv"
U tell me whether i'm crazy to think nothing is wrong
Because last time i had doubts abt something and he
didn't sound like that at all
he was reassuring and at least he sounded like my BF
Yesterday, dunno wat kinda shit he sounded like
Something is wrong, i know something is!
It irks me now, i realised that when someone says they love me
and they don't act like it at all
That's why i can't take a persono cheating on their partner
when they claim they love them..
i would be like
"WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU LOVE PPL LIKE THAT ?!"
If someone doesn't love their partner and cheated on them, i'm fine
it's understood
but if someone does love...then i dun get it
Anyway, out of the point.
I guess maybe he's just sick of me
and i'm sick of him
I made a promise to him
btw, he's in sabah now
After that i just told him
i wanna break up. Of course i called him b4 that
to try to make him tell wat's wrong
I tried all i could to be patient
but i can't with someone like that
i told him that he's killing me
Finally i smsed him to break up
and i told him one part
"I dont care abt the promise since u don't care
abt me or the rship. U nv kept ur promises so we're even"
He replied...
"Come on, what is wrong with you....i did not do anything wrong did i?
Just because i talk like this in sms doesn't mean anything"
But it means something. Lets compare with his old sms
"Why you shouldn't? I miss you so much as well"
I don't have others coz i quit keeping his sms quite sometime ago
But that one was pretty long time ago
intuition, i believe is reliable..
he sounds diff
i immediately thought of him with another girl
or
he found out that there is something wrong with his health after all
All in all, i felt like he was pushing me to break up
so maybe that's what he wants also...
And he never slept so late b4
And even if he really is normally like that
i do not want someone so unloving like that
watever it is, i've broken up!
Feb. 11th, 2006 @ 02:17 pm
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| » u can't be that person |
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I just watched A walk on the Clouds starring Keanu Reaves. Ah...such a sweet movie. Love the part where they nearly kissed and after that when they did. He just grabbed her around the waist, turned her around and kissed her....so sweet!!
Anywayz here's
100 Things i want in a relationship/bf
some stuff might overlap others. but here's the gyst of it.
1. Someone passionate. Passionate abt certain activities, be it karaoke or snooker or watever. Not like when i suggest "Why don't we go to genting theme park" then he replied "okla, anything. can oso. Up to u". Passionate also abt me and our love. Someone who kisses with passion, speaks of us with passion. Who grabs me on impulse and takes my breath away out of passion.
2. Someone loving. Gazes into my eyes. Always holds my hand or keeps physical contact. Who sends me cards and lil smses and well just basically makes me feel loved.
3. Someone romantic. Need i say more abt this?
4. Someone sexual. OK, what i mean by this is not some kayu la. Not someone who when making out lies like a dead body and lets the other person do everything. Also, always responsive or at least most of the time.
5. Someone manly. Able to stand up for me. Able to take care of me and make me feel protected.
6. Someone with the same moral beliefs as i have. If he's too notty, i won't be able to support him. If he's too goodie, i'll feel preassured.
7. Someone who pampers me
8. A rship which makes me feel complete
9. A person who makes me want to be a better person
10. A bf who makes me feel like i'm the apple of his heart, eye...watever....
i feel like a sucker already....cont next time...heh heh
Anywayz, he called me just now. Of course as of now, i'm the one who's been calling him more and sms-ing and stuff like that. That's just me. Some might say sticking but i say hardly. What's wrong with being sticky anyway? If someone doesn't like, then i say they shouldn't be in a rship at all. I don't believe i'm clingy lar. He called and he said i love u and like all other times i say "realy?" and he said "if i don't love u, i wouldn't call." Should i be satisfied? Oh no i'm not....why? coz i expect more than that. Besides, i can't even remember the last time we had even half an hr phonecall....ages n ages ago.
So as i was saying. He told me he can't talk long coz it's exp and so all the things i wanted to tell him.....well i din want to anymore. Coz seriously if i'm gonna talk halfway oni to have him to go, i don't even wanna start. He always says he's got to go...shit, bathe, study watever lerr...annoying. Hardly tell him anything over the phone these days.
Most of our conversations go like this.
Him: Hi dear
Me: Hi
Him: So how was ur day?
Me: NOthing much lar. ok i guess. (maybe sometimes it'll be like "i went online. Watched tv. Later going out")
Him: OH ok. I just woke up. I'm gonna wash up and then eat. Then study. (or play comp or watever)
Me; ok.
Him: Okla, i go first.
Me; Ok bye
Him; Miss u byebye
NOTE
1. We're more on Q n A basis. And no elaborations either on answer basis.
2. I sound cold and distant because i'm tired of telling something halfway oni to have him say he has to do something. It happens all the time! Fuckingannoying
3. He says "miss u" in this insincere way, to my ears anyway. U know how when u say something so often, it becomes saying for the sake of saying? Yeah, something like that.
I guess deep inside i still harbour a glimmer of hope that we'll work out someway.
Feb. 9th, 2006 @ 02:51 pm
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| » u can't be that person |
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I just watched A walk on the Clouds starring Keanu Reaves. Ah...such a sweet movie. Love the part where they nearly kissed and after that when they did. He just grabbed her around the waist, turned her around and kissed her....so sweet!!
Anywayz here's
100 Things i want in a relationship/bf
some stuff might overlap others. but here's the gyst of it.
1. Someone passionate. Passionate abt certain activities, be it karaoke or snooker or watever. Not like when i suggest "Why don't we go to genting theme park" then he replied "okla, anything. can oso. Up to u". Passionate also abt me and our love. Someone who kisses with passion, speaks of us with passion. Who grabs me on impulse and takes my breath away out of passion.
2. Someone loving. Gazes into my eyes. Always holds my hand or keeps physical contact. Who sends me cards and lil smses and well just basically makes me feel loved.
3. Someone romantic. Need i say more abt this?
4. Someone sexual. OK, what i mean by this is not some kayu la. Not someone who when making out lies like a dead body and lets the other person do everything. Also, always responsive or at least most of the time.
5. Someone manly. Able to stand up for me. Able to take care of me and make me feel protected.
6. Someone with the same moral beliefs as i have. If he's too notty, i won't be able to support him. If he's too goodie, i'll feel preassured.
7. Someone who pampers me
8. A rship which makes me feel complete
9. A person who makes me want to be a better person
10. A bf who makes me feel like i'm the apple of his heart, eye...watever....
i feel like a sucker already....cont next time...heh heh
Anywayz, he called me just now. Of course as of now, i'm the one who's been calling him more and sms-ing and stuff like that. That's just me. Some might say sticking but i say hardly. What's wrong with being sticky anyway? If someone doesn't like, then i say they shouldn't be in a rship at all. I don't believe i'm clingy lar. He called and he said i love u and like all other times i say "realy?" and he said "if i don't love u, i wouldn't call." Should i be satisfied? Oh no i'm not....why? coz i expect more than that. Besides, i can't even remember the last time we had even half an hr phonecall....ages n ages ago.
So as i was saying. He told me he can't talk long coz it's exp and so all the things i wanted to tell him.....well i din want to anymore. Coz seriously if i'm gonna talk halfway oni to have him to go, i don't even wanna start. He always says he's got to go...shit, bathe, study watever lerr...annoying. Hardly tell him anything over the phone these days.
Most of our conversations go like this.
Him: Hi dear
Me: Hi
Him: So how was ur day?
Me: NOthing much lar. ok i guess. (maybe sometimes it'll be like "i went online. Watched tv. Later going out")
Him: OH ok. I just woke up. I'm gonna wash up and then eat. Then study. (or play comp or watever)
Me; ok.
Him: Okla, i go first.
Me; Ok bye
Him; Miss u byebye
NOTE
1. We're more on Q n A basis. And no elaborations either on answer basis.
2. I sound cold and distant because i'm tired of telling something halfway oni to have him say he has to do something. It happens all the time! Fuckingannoying
3. He says "miss u" in this insincere way, to my ears anyway. U know how when u say something so often, it becomes saying for the sake of saying? Yeah, something like that.
I guess
Feb. 9th, 2006 @ 02:51 pm
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| » So many things i want ! boohoo |
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As i have always known, too much of something just ain't good even tho it was a good thing at first.... I'm like super addicted to these two communities-purplemascara and selltradeKL I've joined Msian Babes community too! But leh, that one damn a lotta ppl and looks complicated la....and someone from there asked if i was interested to be GRO !! WTF !!!!! Feels like an unsafe place.. Thus, i think i might just create a girl talk community for Msian gals hehe..but haih so many things to learn to make it all pretty and nice...oh wells, we'll see my mood la...
Hope someone else will come up with it first.
Anywyz back to being addicted, well everyday i check both pages soooo many times and i checked past entries so that i can look at clothings online...lol + other stuff as well. Also, i'm getting kinda active in the community and boy do i envy them ! So rich la most of them.....makes me wanna buy buy buy....
bad bad bad....
Feb. 4th, 2006 @ 11:17 pm
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| » Those Magic Changes |
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All this while, i could have bolded my words easily etc...if i only knew of LJ's rich text....damn it......then maybe i wouldn't have opened Xanga also..oh wells..
Yeesh my LJ could have been so much prettier silly me !
Then again, Xanga has more options..
I'm feeling kinda sad. Actually yes, my heart aches *sobs*
Everything is like shit wrong in the rship
I would leave, but i made a promise....
And i guess somehow, i keep hoping things will turn out ok
Now guess who's at his place? His ex...
Not that it's right i be angry or put any blame on him
yet i can't help feeling angry, jealous
but i can't scold him, it wouldn't be rite
Aih, so hard to contain and remain calm
Feb. 4th, 2006 @ 01:00 pm
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| » When is it my turn, u tell me! |
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1. Rule 1: List 5 weird or random things about yourself
a. I like randomness
b. I like fate
c. I like variety
d. And all that since i was like in pre-kindy
e. I must always eat egg with soya sauce, never alone without sauce
i tag anyone else who wants to do
2. I actually like it that PJ/KL is less congested for CNY. I like it that there are less cars and bad drivers to make way for a reckless one like me! hahahah.....i like the quietness, peacefulness and emptyness...yay.....too bad it can't last..but being me, i'll prob get bored with that condition anyway
3. my rship. wat's new! sighz....sudenly don't feel like talking abt it. oh well, nvm
Feb. 3rd, 2006 @ 01:52 am
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| » Return to innocence...can i ever? please? |
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Don't Call Me Baby" by Madison Avenue
[Verse 1]
You and me, we have an opportunity
And we could make it something really cool
But you, you think I'm not that kind of girl
I'm here to tell you baby, I know how to rock your world
[Bridge]
Don't think that I'm not strong
I'm the one to take you on
Don't underestimate me boy
I'll make you sorry you were born
You don't know me
The way you really should
You sure misunderstood
[Chorus]
Dont' call me baby
You got some nerve, and baby that'll never do
You know I don't belong t o you
It's time you knew I'm not your baby
I belong to me, so
Don't call me baby
[Verse 2]
Behind my smile is my IQ
I must admit, this does not sit, with the likes of you
You're really sweet
Mmm, you're really nice
But didn't mama ever tell you not to play with fire?
[Bridge]
[Chorus]
[Verse 1 again]
[Bridge]
[Double chorus]
This song reminds me of him, about those times when we wld go to PM, that's where i heard the song anywayz. And well wat could have been but didn't happen..really still remains a mystery. Sometimes i think of him, of us. Ahha i hope when i read this back in da future, i know who i'm talking abt. lol
Shld be lar because everytime i hear this song, it just reminds me of him
Well in my xanaga i sounded really pissed. Which i was of course, but i guess it weared of somehow...as usual. Today went to his place (and pat's) to study with em and he was being the usual tight nerd. Keep "tsk tsk" and throwing his books around frustratedly. I'm sure he won't fail lar...firstly he won't let himself n 2ndly, he's already such a smarty pants. As for me....i'm slacking like shit man......and i'm afraid i will fail....thing is, in the exam memo, we're advised to write more than read (to revise) and he's memorising while i'm writing. Gosh, God do help me plz.
Other than that, still kinda checking clothes online hahahha and my wishlist is adding up! Can't wait for next week
Will time just freeze sometimes sigh
Feb. 1st, 2006 @ 07:27 pm
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| » The place where i silently cry |
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Ah~back to my LJ
the place where i simply put titles that do not concern my post !
blueks >.<
Anyways i realise that my brain is very active, that's why these days my journal writing sux or is brief. TOo many thoughts all at once....and i'm always off to do something. Never really sitting down and writing wat i really think.
Last day of work today. Thank God!! Really, thank You My Lord. M is getting more on my nerves. If i were her boss, i will certainly fire her ! So inefficient, lazy and well, i got a feeling that she hates to take orders from anyone. This week, LG just ask me to do a simple task and when LG went off, M (who i terpaksa sit with) said why can't she do it herself. Then i, being too chicken to tell her off just shrugged...and then she repeated herself...then i was just abt to say coz i'm having the book and all and she interupted me sayin "My question is SIMPLE, why can't LG do it HERSELF?"
Gosh, what a rude pig man!!
Wish i told her, "it's no biggie...small thing like that also wanna make noise meh???"
Why i terpaksa sit with her? Coz she sits next to me (she comes later) and if i move somewhere else, it's kinda obvious that i dowan to sit with her rite?? Well, dowan to offend her like that la. WHY AM I LIKE THAT !!!!!
I shld just offend ppl when i think they deserve it.
Thank goodness i have Pey there to bitch with lol. And some kids....i really wish i can whack them. If my own kid, i surely will whack already. There's this boy called Daniel, shit man, blardy rude....if the parent ask me to whack only, i won't hesitate.
But most of the kids there are well behaved lar and really cute! ehhe
This M, i really wish boss would fire her. Everything also wanna complain, cannot sit near the window coz HOT, lazy to walk to get things done...expect ppl to give her....these things have nothing much to do with me excepts she COMPLAINS TO ME which is kinda irritating. I was thinking that i wld be quite a fussy senior or higher mgt next time. I really like things to be efficient and hate lazy ppl. U get paid for a reason. If don't like, don't work la. I'd hate to be her daughter...she's a mom. I wouldn't respect my mom at all if she was like that.
It annoys me how some ppl are so spoilt and think everything should go their way. I mean, after living in this world for quite sometime, one should already know that reality BITES...so quit complaining when u HAVE to do things u dislike. My sis is another one lar..."i can't study..i just can't..."
Some ppl just hate other giving them orders even tho it's someone who is in that position. They just have to rebel. I HATE (well not really, but jusst for effect) ppl like that. I mean, if someone is overboard, fine...but there are some who defy their parents, bosses...etc....some even react doing the exact opposite. Idiots man.
Why are some ppl just so difficult
For me, i realise sometime ago that i can't fight reality and life. So to make my life easier and to be a happier person, i would just have to fit in somehow. Blend~
Abt other things in my life, well tmr going to genting so i'm really excited. TOo bad JT ain't going with me. So watever...things are rocky, what's new?
Feel kinda lost. Sometimes, ppl around me are quite shallow. Sometimes i'm quite shallow. But u know wat? It's easier to be shallow than to care abt other painful things in this world. I'm glad that finally i don't feel empty anymore. I want to go back to church...but..father will discourage me for sure. But i shall at least go once b4 uni reopens. Dowan to go back to old church, guess i'll choose another....hopefully one that made me feel like i belonged like the church in Aus.
"Somewhere along the path, i lost my way, i lost myself and i forgot the way back....and i forgot where i was heading to.....dunno if i can ever remember...sighz..." kcy
Really, i'm quite disappointed with myself.
God plz show me the way =/
Jan. 27th, 2006 @ 09:50 pm
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| » Pessimistic |
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Will i or will i not?
hmzzzz today was a fun day!
but ssshhhhh won't be saying anything
unless of course i get it!
hahahaha
ciaoz :P
Jan. 21st, 2006 @ 01:39 am
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